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Ep. 68 Milkbags Suffers J.B.’s Embarrassing Questions

Ep. 68 Milkbags Suffers J.B.’s Embarrassing Questions

Milky D and his beautiful wife, Christina Christina, hustle acting, writing and producing in Vancouver.

 

I guess I just feel so comfortable with this fellow that I completely cross the line of propriety. Is that the right word?

Milky D was on his way to rural Ontario to visit his mum when he stayed with us in Toronto. It was great talking to him about: making babies, boner pills, shocking transactions with wardrobe ladies and coffee tables. Love hanging with Milky!

 

 

Love You!

 

J.B. in hot, sticky, sexy Toronto

Ep. 67 The Occult, Intention And A Different Way Of Thinking

Ep. 67 The Occult, Intention And A Different Way Of Thinking

 

Motek Sherman is a thinker, an investor, a lawyer and he’s got a big, fat brain on him.

 

Mo is definitely the smartest person I know. But this time he doesn’t just educate me, he blows my mind. He enlightens me on some introductory broad strokes of the occult. It immediately gets deep. There’s mystery, there are secrets, there’s weirdness. You’re gonna love it. And it’s a bit of a departure from the usual ITD.

 

ITD looks like an STD, hey? ITD: Irrevocably Transmitted Disease. That’s me. I’m in your ears and I won’t go away no matter how much Polysporin you put on me.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Love youuuuu!

 

 

J.B. in a sultry, sexy Toronto

 

 

Ep. 66 Stephen Carter – Grumpy Strategist Makes Politics Interesting

Ep. 66 Stephen Carter – Grumpy Strategist Makes Politics Interesting

I never remember to take a photo of my guest so I then have to get one from the internet. What I’m saying is I didn’t take this picture.

Steve Carter and I went to university together one million years ago. Now he’s a political strategist. I fell in love with his defunct podcast and listened religulously. After months of bugging him I finally got the chance to talk to him only by going all the way to his home in the Rockie Mountains in Alberta. Yeesh. It was worth it though. Great chat. This is the guy that made politics exciting for me. And he explains it well too. I hope he gets another podcast going. Secretly I want to do one with him where I ask dumb questions and he explains stuff to me about what’s going on in politics. We could call it Steve Carter Explains Politics To An Incredibly Handsome Guy Named J.B.

Just white-boarding.

 

Love you!

 

J.B.

Ep. 65 The End Of The American Empire

Ep. 65 The End Of The American Empire

 

Maybe the Romans knew things were falling apart. Maybe it wasn’t until then they started banging their slaves and drinking too much. Maybe the thinky pedoes in robes in Athens only started their man-boy love crusade when the curtain began to close on the Greek Empire. The bad behaviour ramps up when the end is nigh. Don’t you look around for someone to make out with when you’re on an airplane that’s beginning its final descent? Just in case.

America’s now run by one family, and at the top is an orange emperor (that has no clothes). If this isn’t a sign that it’s over then all we’re missing is the four horsemen of the apocalypse. How many more invitations do you need before you join me on Koh Samui for a Full Moon Party.

Welcome to Episode 65 and the end of the world as we know it.

 

Love you!

 

JB

Ep. 64 We’re Just Animals! Especially Narwhales

Ep. 64 We’re Just Animals! Especially Narwhales

 

This week Diana and I field a call from Christine in Vancouver. She has a problem with people texting a conversation instead of calling. She laments the end of phone calls. I love phone calls but there is a real place for texts: What’s your address again? We don’t have any milk. I’m hammered, come get me. But when a conversation is in order then the texting can become too much tapping.

 

Let’s get back to talking. Do you have someone you could call right now that you haven’t spoken to in a while? There’s no more long distance rates. It’s free or dirt cheap. We have no excuse. Reach out and touch someone. With your voice. Not your fingers. Well, you can, just make sure you have consent. I’m giving you consent right now to call 1 437-888-3261 and leave a message in the Complaint Department. Leave a message in our Message Centre!

 

With love and admiration,

 

J.B. & Big Di

 

Ep. 63 The Complaint Department – Turning Lanes!

Ep. 63 The Complaint Department – Turning Lanes!

 

Today Diana and I field a call from Michael in Toronto who has a beef with people not using turning lanes properly. Look, we’ve all got to do what we can to get home safely especially if we’ve wrapped ourselves in 2000 lbs of weaponized, motorized steel. We’ve strapped a metal bomb to our stomachs and we propel ourselves through cities filled with pedestrians. And then we get stressed out when we have to wait 10 seconds for a light to turn green or for a taxi parked in a fucking bike line or a cop that just parks wherever the fuck they want. Love cops!

Call 1 437 888 3261

Love you,

Diana & J.B.

Ep. 62 Welcome To The Complaint Department

Ep. 62 Welcome To The Complaint Department

 

Diana Frances joins me as we field a call from Karen from Toronto. She needs to talk traffic… And pigeons. Fair enough, Karen. Both those things annoy me.

Call us anytime at 1 437 888 3261 and leave your complaint in our box!

 

XO
JB & Diana

The Complaint Department

Save your complaints for someone who cares

Ep. 60 Lessons From A Hollywood Veteran

Ep. 60 Lessons From A Hollywood Veteran

 

Don Enright spent three decades working in Hollywood producing TV and Film. He had it all: the fancy office in Santa Monica, the Ferrari, the broads and even the French restaurant that cost him a shitload of money. Then he moved to beautiful North Saanich. Yeah, North Saanich! Not even Victoria. Yeesh. At least he’s still got the black 308 (same one that Magnum had).

 

Don has made more than 50 movies (mostly for TV) including The Cover Girl and the Cop, Not Of This World and What Kind of Mother Are You? He’s won three Emmy’s and has worked with Sony, Warner Bros, Universal, NBC, ABC, CBS, Lifetime and Discovery. Today I talk to him about his career but, rest assured, I also talk to him about mine. After all, that’s what we’re here for. When I ask what I’m doing wrong he says something no one has ever said to me before. He says, and I’m paraphrasing, that I don’t have enough faith in the scripts I’ve written to move heaven and earth to get the right people to read them. When great advice comes along it’s so easy to recognize. And it sounds so obvious. And it is, unfortunately, never a shortcut.

 

I loved talking to Don. He’s got some great stories. And I got his phone number so I’m going to be bothering him regularly for more advice.

 

————-

 

Coming up I’ve got a new segment on the show called The Complaint Department. It’s where listeners like you call 1 (437) 888-3261 and leave a brief message complaining about something. Then the great Diana Frances and I will talk about your complaint. It’s a way to get the neggies out in a safe place instead of reacting emotionally in the moment. Sound familiar? We’d love to hear from you.

 

I’m off to Frankfurt and Bucharest now. If you don’t hear from me it’s because I’ve joined a fascist political party and I’m taking East Moldovia for myself. After all, they’re known for their big reds.

 

 

Reachers,

 

J.B. at Pearson Airport (Why aren’t there any Whitespots in Ontario by now?!)

 

Ep. 59 News Fatty-Gay And The Evil Power Of Testosterone

Ep. 59 News Fatty-Gay And The Evil Power Of Testosterone

 

Scandal after scandal the Angry Mango is dragging the U.S. and the world down a dangerous road of incompetency that at best will be a long sad joke and at worst nuclear war. His ego, fuelled by genetic delusion and vestigial amounts of stupefying testosterone, drive him to act like a spoiled 5 year-old. But we must soldier on. He wants us to turn off. He wants us to stop paying attention. He wants to run the USA like he runs his companies: autocratically.

It should have been Bernie. He wasn’t the spoiler, Hilary was. What a catastrophe. If there’s anything good about Trump is that he has mobilized the Left. He’ll have ruined the Republican party for decades to come. And the democrats have ruined themselves. What will rear it’s head next? I’m hoping for an independent; a nice lesbian of colour that doesn’t happen to be rich.

We have to keep paying attention. We must hold their feet to the fire because anybody can be a politician. It takes no pre-requisites. They can be complete idiots and still become leader of the free world. I have to keep reading the news. But we need balance too. Fair and balanced. Just like Fox News. That’s why I’m now going to Bar Raval with Hutsul to eat grilled sardines and drink Spanish wine and enjoy the best this city has to offer. Before a radicalized young Islamic man makes a bad decision due to his testosterone and blows it up.

Ep. 58 Pizzagate!

Ep. 58 Pizzagate!

 

Pizzagate is a conspiracy theory that emerged during the 2016 United States presidential election cycle. You’ve heard of it but if you’re anything like me you didn’t actually know anything about it. And let me just preface this episode by saying that you still won’t know anything about it after you listen. In spite of mine and my guest’s best efforts it is a quagmire of misinformation and leaps in logic. But that’s why I like a good conspiracy theory. They are juicy! Because it’s gossip. And we are told it’s bad to gossip. It’s negative, impolite and it’s judgmental. But it feels so good when we’re doing it. And then you feel dirty afterwards. Kinda like masturbation. Or pork rinds.

 

Pizzagate has it all: Hillary Clinton leads a child sex-trafficking ring that also performs Satanic rituals! Thankfully for the ardent self-investigators (AKA the Online Trump Tribe) there are also Jewish people, gay people and democratic people involved. It’s a fuckin’ salad of what is wrong with ‘murica.

 

I’m so judgmental and snarky, I know. I want to be open-minded but it’s hard when faced with such lunacy. That said, there are some weird elements to this story that are hard to explain. The kind and patient Bob Brun from Ohio, a man that voted for Donny-T, has looked into the Pizzagate affair and has found some compelling evidence.

 

 

Long, meaningful but completely appropriate hugs from sunny Toronto!

 

 

J.B.